Life and Love in Some Shit Homes I Have Lived In Through the Years

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=239LsyI6HYE&pp=ygU1VGVsZXZpc2lvbiBtYXJxdWVlIE1vb24gZXh0ZW5kZWQgMTLigJ0gNDUgcnBtIHZlcnNpb24%3D


When I struck out on my own I had little to my name. I had a job. The job got me a one bedroom apartment in a big building that would have little trouble filling an evening newscast night after night with what went on there. From home I brought my bed and dresser, a couple old pots and some bent cutlery. That was it.

I lived there a couple years, until the place filled up with shit, including my first stereo which I purchased with help from the Household Finance Company (HFC), and I needed a bigger one which I found nearby. My brother joined me. We worked in the. same fucking mill. We only lived there two months due to alleged pissing and vomiting off our balcony. We were having a little trouble with our manners, as young men do.

We found another place. It was even bigger. 11th floor. We hung a sign on the balcony. “ATTENTION TAME APES!!! NO PISSING OR VOMITING OFF THE BALCONY!!!” We spent all our money on beer so it did not fill up with shit. The only major addition being a full size beer fridge. I did not have to throw out anything when my brother moved out with his girlfriend and I moved back into a one bedroom walk up.

My new place was full of shit now however. Was not even a balcony to put the beer fridge. I put it in my bedroom right by my bed so I could reach in in the morning and get one.

There were a few other such shitholes I lived until Sonja and I rented our first house. That was when our lives began to quickly improve. We had lots of room for more stuff including a garage. The house also had a fireplace, and a laundry room and we got our first dog Strangler. We were very happy there. If I had stayed there the rest of life I would have been pleased but the landlord wanted more money so we told the greedy fucker to go fuck himself and moved on.

Next followed a series of houses of varying size. They were all ok. We kept on working and kept accumulating more stuff until we realized our dream of owning our own house where I live to this day.It took 30 years but we filled it with all kinds of shit. The best years of our lives were all spent there even though we hardly ever pissed or vomited off the balcony.

Sonja is gone 5 years now. I still have the house and I still like living here but it is not nearly the same without her in it. One day I will move back into an apartment. One rainy night I will have a few beer and piss off the balcony for old time’s sake. 



Comments

  1. But what about the reverse peristalsis?

    .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good question! I don’t vomit on demand like I could in the Golden Age of Rock ‘n’ Roll. If my future apartment neighbours get to see that show I’ll be projectile vomiting after the Canucks win the Stanley Cup!

      Delete
    2. That last thing....I genuinely fear it, and this is coming from somebody who revered this guy in 1975, will never happen.

      .

      Delete

Post a Comment